i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
