I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
