Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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