guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
