This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
