erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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