I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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