My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Randomize
