Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
