he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
