This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
