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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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