We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
