Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
