I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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