Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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