literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
