We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
