Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize