she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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