what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize