And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
