omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
