How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I have peed in a lot of sinks
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
