Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
my liver is dry heaving
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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