How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
