Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
