Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
