he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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