You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
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