Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
that is very illegal...i love you.
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