Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(707): View more from California

I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.

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(705): View more from Ontario

never. drinking. again.

(1-705): View more from Ontario

lets not get ahead of ourselves.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior

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(+22): View more from

Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.

Fav 8 761 1963
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.

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(419): View more from Ohio

Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.

Fav 14 1847 969
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(646): View more from New York

i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.

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(240): View more from Maryland

So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"

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