My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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