Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
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