You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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