Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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