I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
