Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(714): View more from California

dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"

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(504): View more from Louisiana

I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.

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(248): View more from Michigan

They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients

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(432): View more from Texas

I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...

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