so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
