My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
