Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
