Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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