then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize