Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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