i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
