so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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