last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
