glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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