Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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