So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
