..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
