You're so nebulous sometimes
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
