i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Randomize
