belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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