Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
did i just pee glitter
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
