he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
