So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
