Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I looked at my own cervix.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
