How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
