just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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