You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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