I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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