My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
